Nap Time Rocks!

Going blind

I ventured into unfamiliar territory with a just a click of the mouse.

Whatever reasons I’ve cooked up in the past year or so just so I can stay put are quickly vanishing into thin air. This isn’t just a function of x squared multiplied by the square root of y divided by one half of infinity, you know, financial reasons.

I’m finally mustering enough energy to go see the world out there and live in it. I’m applying for an immigrant visa to a country where Christmas isn’t Christmas if it isn’t white; you fail the driving exam three times for turning a corner too slow and a 5-year driving history does not even hold water; feeding the dog leftovers is a crime; and if you’re unemployed the government makes use of its faithful citizens’ taxes to give you an allowance.

It sounded absurd to my virgin Pinoy ears that the government actually works in some parts of the universe. And maybe it’s about time that I did. All these corruptive deals and unscrupulous first gentlemen and crooked systems and evasive tax benefits are seriously getting on my nerves. I purposely do not watch the local evening news because it’s tiring to hear about politicians squabble over who gets the bigger share of the pie. (I only get updates whenever I take a crap in the toilet where there’s a newspaper, and what perfect place to read it because it’s still full of sh**). To hell with their shares. What about mine? The middle-class worker who pays taxes diligently and yet gets screwed over by a society filled with kotong cops, lawless rich people running amok (and free) with drugs and government officials who do not function without padulas. It sucks, really.

But hey, don’t take my word for it. That clear and bright future remains elusive. At least for me.

But it’s not just the government. There’s too much history for me here. Those who know me will know. Wow how redundant. It’s too much to consider if I want to get a move on. No matter what I do, this is a place that the shadows of not-so-good things will always follow me around. And somehow the idea of getting away from it and living adventurously in a land far away is so much more appealing.

And besides, you can get so used to living up to so much expectation and pressure to make it big, that the concept of simple living is like paradise. You know, just earning enough to have food to eat, clothes on your back, and to enjoy the simplicities in life. That’s not to say that I don’t aspire for big and grand things. It’s just that here in the Philippines, you can’t expect that. One must work twice (or even thrice) as hard to even have something on the table. Again, that brings me to the making-taxes-work-for-you point.

So. I’m going blind into the future, not knowing what God holds in it for me, but still sure that it’s going to be better than what I can manage. What else can I do right? I may be able to live comfortably here and provide for myself and my family. But I guess I just need a change.

Anyway. Downloading forms. Taking assessment tests. Check, check. Now to fill up the forms and send them away.