Separation anxiety — who, me?
I never thought I would be the one under the microscope. Well at least under my own scrutiny. Being a single mom means to me that I should never break down, should worry the least, and be the strongest. Now it isn’t 
so. I hate to admit it, but I think I’m the one having feelings of separation anxiety from Mia. I knew it would be tough being a working mom but I never realized it would be this hard. I’ve always had my self-confidence intact but being away from home at least 10 hours a day (and some days I leave home while Mia’s still asleep or I get hom and she’s asleep) has eaten away parts of it.
Just the other night, Mia woke up at 2am crying, because of a bad dream probably, and she didn’t want her mommy. I did everything to soothe her: rocked her, hugged her, told her ‘it’s ok mommy’s here’. But she said no, no, no’, cried and bawled until my mom went up to my room and took her to calm her down. When the room went quiet that’s when I realized how useless I felt.
I thought to myself, can I not calm even my own baby? Is the attachment that temporary between us? It’s over-paranoia I know, but you do get that feeling sometimes. Before when I come home, she used to greet me with a wide smile and hug me. Lately it’s just a stare if I’m lucky, and she won’t even come to me when I call her. The TV is a tough competition. I want to tell my mom or whoever’s taking care of her when I get home to avoid watching television when she’s around. Because she tends to get glued to it. Nevertheless, the detachment has affected me more than I would have wanted.
Lately I’ve ‘forced’ her to notice me by being giving her lots and lots of attention, so much so that I’m now worrying that I might spoil her on the other hand. So what should I do? I really hate the feeling.
May 28th, 2008 at 7:14 am
awww ris..sorry to hear u feel this way..i can only imagine how tough it must be for you; but we have to sacrifice for our kids eh..ganun talaga..Mia won’t love u less because you work. You just have to be extra strong for her and for yourself.
kaya mo yan, ikaw pa! buti ur mum is there and hindi lang yaya ~ dba? secure ka na hindi naman pinapabayaan.
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iris reply on May 29th, 2008:
yeah i know, my only consolation is that she’s growing up with my mom by her side.
well, i guess it’ll pass din.. thanks for the encouragement 
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May 28th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Nice blogg…if you need some graphic I can help you for free. You look nice in you picture.
Nilos last blog post..Military Squirrel… How It Was Done?
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May 30th, 2008 at 3:15 am
awww… maybe she’s just going through a phase. but you know your daughter knows you love her. it’s a mom-daughter thing. i guess just keep on spending quality time with her. (hugs)
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iris reply on May 31st, 2008:
hirap maging working mom lang talaga
but i do hope she does feel that. thanks ate pao 
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May 30th, 2008 at 8:13 am
it is just normal…kaya mo yan. susunod dyan pagmag-aaral na sila.
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basta alam naman ng mga baby na nandyan lagi si mommy para sa kanila
thanks for the comments and suggestions…very much appreciated.
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iris reply on May 31st, 2008:
hehe i don’t know how I’m going to react when that time comes. parang ako yata ang dapat mag-adjust
no prob. it’s nice seeing you here!
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May 31st, 2008 at 4:35 am
its when i read about stories like yours that i’m thankful to have the opportunity to stay home and take care of ninna. if i were in your shoes, i know i would definitely feel the same way.
pero you’re not leaving her to live the carefree single life naman, in fact you’re trying to make a living for her, her needs, and her future. eto na lang isipin mo, that you are useful to her, definitely, pero in a different way – perhaps not as her primary caregiver but more so as her primary provider.
we all make parenting sacrifices one way or another. pero, the thing that we should never sacrifice is letting our children feel our love for them, and that one you can do whether you’re 24 hours by her side or just 10 minutes.
*hugs*
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iris reply on May 31st, 2008:
hay thanks mee
i really do think it’s a matter of perspective so you’re right. i guess i’m just dwelling to much on what i feel like i’m not giving her enough, which is time, but i’m missing that it’s all about quality and not quantity.
thanks for the encouragements.
thank goodness for people like you who give sensible advices.
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June 1st, 2008 at 7:15 pm
i was at some point sharing your predicament. i hate it when she looked for the yaya even when i’m around. it’s one among the many reasons why i left the workforce.
but it’s true, your being away from mia is not like your away to party or something. eventually, when mia’s grown a bit more, she’ll know that YOU ARE and will always be her mom.
take heart, ris. i hope you feel better soon.
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iris reply on June 2nd, 2008:
well, i can’t wait until that time comes that she actually understands why mommy has to be away most of the time. thanks tin
your encouragements help a lot.
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