If I were the president of the Philippines
Warning: Not for the politically sensitive.
- Discard all my 2-inch hills and buy all the 3 to 4-inched stilletos in the designer market. Using kickback money, of course
- Have my rather distracting mole surgically removed
- Fire my fashion stylist for the boring suits and personally hire Tommy Hillfiger. That’s hitting 2 birds with one stone. Fil-American ties are cemented.
- Discard my standard government-issue plate number and go with “KICKASS” or “G-UNIT”
- Get all my cronies to kiss my behind at least once a week. Ego-booster, especially since people will definitely be outraged by the first 4 things on my agenda
- Buy one house in all the hot vacation spots in the country, and then move on to Southeast Asia. Using taxpayers’ money again.
- Parade in my newly-acquired sports car at least once a month to show that I’m a people person, with all the police entourage I could get since people might still be pissed.
- Definitely impose Martial Law once a year. Or at least threaten to call for one and then say it’s preposterous so people will say that’s just bad PR against me.
Ok, ok. That’s just Gloria Gone Mad. Really, really mad. By then I think the country will be one enough to kick her out of the Palace.
Seriously, I wish not just the president to take their jobs seriously but the rest of the government. If one day I were to wake up as the president of the country, I would definitely pray and ask forgiveness first for every malicious thing I have done to wrong my country. And then I would have a good breakfast. And then, call for my stylist…
Hehe. Seriously, I would definitely be running it like a private company, in terms of efficiency, effectiveness, KPI and KRAs, and in principle. Everyone will be assessed and promoted by merit of performance, and non-performing staff will be let go. Efficiency tests and audits will be for real; transparency will be upheld in all government processes. Graft and corruption will be punished by burning at the stake, public hanging or head chopping.
I’m exaggerating of course, but you get what I mean. So, who’s voting for me? 
May 2nd, 2008 at 8:35 pm
i think that offenders in the graft and corruption department should first be tapped to muck out the pasig river for at least ten years - THEN burned at the stake.
dr_clairebears last blog post..Where to Next?
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iris reply on May 3rd, 2008:
that’s a pretty good idea! or maybe they can build a minimum of 50 houses with their own hands and THEN burned at the stake.
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May 2nd, 2008 at 9:41 pm
am voting for you, basta i want to be the first kapag may pilahan sa bigas
kick na kung sino man ang dapat ikick out.
kengkays last blog post..Vatertag = Father’s Day = Inuman
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iris reply on May 3rd, 2008:
haha sige ba! at lahat ng WPP members, basta iboboto ako. (uh oh, first sign of favoritism).
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May 3rd, 2008 at 1:30 am
Hahaha Ris, you have been Gloriafied!
But the moles.. ugh!
Ks last blog post..It’s a jungle out there
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iris reply on May 3rd, 2008:
gloriafied, huh? i don’t think i even want to be gloriafied.
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May 10th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
ako, i’ll vote for you!
si gma, ako magco-coterize ng nunal niya, pwede? please?
the philippine presidency has a history talaga of corruption. i agree with you, sana naman matuto na sila (not only the prexy but everyone else in govt) to take their positions seriously instead of using their power to enrich themselves at the expense of the kaban ng bayan. kakainis.
Meeyas last blog post..Butil Butil
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iris reply on May 10th, 2008:
haha be my guest mee!
well that’s why i can’t help but be sarcastic nalang eh.. hay.
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