Nap Time Rocks!

Going back a few years ago, when realizing these things were still easy. I’ve always believed that faith, rather than good works will save our souls from eternity in hell. I’ve always been steadfast in my beliefs, no matter what argument was given me, not even if i studied in a notorious campus that prided itself in diverse beliefs, but more so in its stronghold in atheism or agnosticism. They called it individualism. I call it apathy.

No point in raising an argument here, because these are simply my beliefs. If you feel otherwise, i respect that. But know also that there came a time that I questioned my faith. I felt suffocated by the need to keep up with it.

I thought God was being unfair for not letting me have all the fun in the world. That I was made for something else, not Him. And that I could live forever ignoring the fact that there is a God. I did it my way, and so I drowned in a mud pool i dug out myself.

But in the end, well, you already know that I’m going to say that i changed my mind.

Bless Me, please

——-

Sep 20, 2004

taguan

September 20, 2004

“tagu-taguan, maliwanag ang buwan…”

there’s something profound about waiting and hiding, did you know? a simple children’s game, and what you got is a funny look at yourself and God. kids are not so impatient when they go into hiding, giggling, proud of the accomplishment of ducking and staying hidden. but adults? oh no. they never appreciate the silver moon in a dark night. they always want an answer. now.

“…’wag maglaro, sa dilim-diliman.”

and no matter how often you tell them, they play hide-and-seek — with God. and just as how elusive we are to Him, so are the things that we seek. because they also hide. tsk, tsk.

“isa … “

no matter how persistent the pursuit, grown-ups do not as easily crumble as kids would. even with so much as a muted giggle, a child will very much give away his hiding place and will find no difficulty touching base. and what of a mature man? he will never give up his throne. never.

“dalawa … “

and when it’s his turn to search and conquer, it will be with so much reluctance. and sometimes we feel like God is hiding. i think God would, like a child, let out an occasional laugh that if we just earnestly follow, will lead to His hiding place. He’s not so hard to find after all.

“tatlo … “

so when do we throw up our hands in frustration of finding what needs to be found? when do you give up hiding behind the boulders of your shortcomings? don’t stifle that breath. you will need that to find yourself.