Work Judgments
there it is. my anxiety over nothing this morning is either an ominous reminder that something bad will happen or i’m just not prepared to go to work this week. for one thing, i’ve been having bad dreams (about my exes, if you must know how bad it is) and weird ones too, that everytime i wake up lately, i have a bad feeling hung over my limbs. so to wake up this morning in a not-so-good mood is expected. but to be greeted by a rather-pissed email from your boss is another thing.
i hate that i’ve been making mistakes in my job just because i’m anxious to please the powers-that-be. for those i haven’t informed yet, i’ve displaced myself from one field to another and it hasn’t been smooth sailing really. i’ve been at it for 7 months already, and though i’ve learned a lot, i still think i haven’t got it running in my blood and veins yet. unlike my previous work. which i totally miss. *hay*
and that’s how i get myself functioning. i want whatever i’m doing to be part of myself, my lifestyle. in that way, i know i’m in my element and i do my job best. but what happens when someone tells you that you know nothing? argh. i know it may take more time for me to get used to this profession but it’s not how my mind works. so what happens? everything that my mind has wrapped around in the past seven months just crumbles to dust. i thought i knew people. i thought i knew how to do my job. i thought i could trust people.
for the past 5 years that i’ve been working, i’ve been tranied to adapt quick and learn fast. i trusted my judgments, my flexibility, my work habits to pull me through everytime. normally, it would only take me 2-3 months to adjust to new sets of responsibilities (and line of work, and believe me they’ve varied so much). this time, it’s been 7 freakin months and i still know nothing. thanks to you, my confidence has sunk to an all-time low in years.
i am so not in my element right now. what God is trying to tell me here still eludes me. i hope one of it is that i’m meant to go back to my first love.
wala pa...
January 15th, 2008 at 2:09 am
hi! i’m sorry to hear you’re quite down. maybe you just need to take a step back from what you’re doing and take stock of where you’re going with your job and with your life. sometimes it’s hard to figure things out when you’re smack dab in the middle of everything.
i hope you don’t mind that i’ve tagged you for an entrecard meme. take your time answering.
hope things look better for you soon. in the meantime, one day at a time.
dr_clairebear’s last blog post..Meme: Drop Your Entrecard
[Reply]
January 15th, 2008 at 2:43 am
Ris I feel the same thing this past few days. I was expecting something bigger on our yearly assessment, it’s just that it hasn’t occurred to me just yet on how to open up “what I want, what they needed to do” with my stagnant position.
The motivation is there but I needed, wanted more. I guess I just have to wait (til when?). It makes me feel “stucked” and I’m still whining about it after all these years.
K’s last blog post..Christmas becomes all about kids
[Reply]
January 15th, 2008 at 4:17 am
hi ris, its only the start of the new year, lots of things can still happen. maybe one of them is you’ll suddenly get all excited about your job.
as for your ex-es…wala na tayong magagawa diyan kasi lahat sila bangungot, hehe.
Meeya’s last blog post..I Am A Corny
[Reply]
January 15th, 2008 at 8:31 am
doc claire - thanks for the advice. i’m actually doing ok, it’s just that work-wise, it’s not as peachy as it used to be. i know i have to find something to give me inspiration again, but i’m afraid i’ve already made up my mind about changing careers — again. anyway sige i’ll do the tag
k - aww. at least now may karamay ako. hehe. it’s really hard to wait no? pero sabi nga, the best things come to those who wait.
but then again, if we’re still complaining and haven’t done anything about it, that’s a different story.
meeya - i’m not so sure i still want to be excited about it. i want to be excited for another thing. malabo ba ako?
like i said, parang i’ve made up my mind already eh. well sort of.
[Reply]
January 16th, 2008 at 2:55 am
naku, ate ris, i’m not happy with my work na din huhu siguro may something sa year 2008 kaya nagkakanito tayo lolz. sana ma-enlighten tayo sa dapat natin gawin ahehe btw, fave ko yan eleven minutes ni paolo coelho
(ala lang, nakita ko ksi sa bookshelf mo :D)
lilmiz’s last blog post..Ops ay ded et agin..
[Reply]
January 16th, 2008 at 8:16 am
hey lilmiz, isa lang ang sagot sa problema natin. ipag-pray natin ito!
sorry ha, pero hindi ako fan ni paulo coelho. feelign ko mashado siyang hyfaluting
when i read kasi, i want to be entertained. ayoko na mashado mag-isip! nabili ko yan dahil curious lang ako. hehe.
[Reply]