Nap Time Rocks!

i’m trying not to transform into scrooge like i did last time. hmm, no, not like last year. i was nicer then. i think another kind of holiday bug is in the air, or maybe it’s just me. i’m drowining in all sorts of emotions lately and i haven’t gotten around to sort them out. maybe it’s the fact that it’s Christmas and people are expected to feel all warm and cuddly and nice and all that, but i just can’t find myself anywhere near that. maybe i’m just tired. i don’t want to write. i’m just not in the mood. i feel like replacing grumpy and have a rain cloud hung over my head instead of a mistletoe. maybe not. but maybe if someone will still kiss me despite that, i’d be happy. i’m supposed to be happy right? because it’s Christmas. but i’m not. i’m neither happy nor sad. what the hell, right? i figured people around me are happy enough that i think the world wouldn’t mind if i’m not. is it ok to feel that way? will people judge me? i think i’ve lost the passion to feel anything. and my toes are so cold. this is what i get for wearing jelly shoes to work. whatever this bug is, i hope someone has come up with an antidote.

gaaad. this is not me. it’s scary.