Category: 
January 15, 2007
i have this line from a song that’s been stuck in my head since this morning. it’s from coldplay, the scientist.
nobody said it was easy…
just that line. this morning i heard the acoustic version sung by some natasha girl. and i can’t get it out of my head.
—
yeah, nobody said it was easy. in fact the world is full of songs, poems, and stories describing the job description of mothers, which is anything but a walk in the park. the reality of all those mother’s day cards i made when i was younger and still had my appreciation intact came crashing down on me when i had mia. it was an in-your-face kind of thing that outdid even my own sarcasm.
i was never really very close to either of my parents. we got along, for most of the time, but we also had nasty spats about inconsequential things and otherwise. which is normal, right? but i guess i was sort of in a self-governing world whilst growing up, hence the kind of relationship i had with my own mom. and now that i’m one myself, i have doubled my efforts to be a lot nicer, a lot more respectful, and a lot more appreciative of her. God knows how unkind i’ve been, not only when i was raging with hormones when i was pregnant, but also during my teenage angst phase, my college brat phase, and even my yuppie self-important phase. so i’m sorry, for not making it any easier for my mom. i’m sorry i’ve wasted maybe a quarter of my life not taking the time to be closer to her. and i’m sorry that i had not tried harder.
another song is stuck in my head:
flames to dust, lovers to friends, why do all good things come to an end?
i beg to disagree. it’s quite the opposite for me. i know bad things must come to an end, sooner or later. at least i still have that much faith in Him. it’ll be ok. we’ll be ok.
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