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with eyes wide open she stared at me, as if saying, “i’m ready to take on the world, mommy”.
tis the season for sparkly things! bags, shoes, accessories, you name it. gold is the new black. even if you’re not of the african lineage, this is the time to justify your bling blings (with taste, of course).
and i’m selling these 
contact me for more details.
a friend of mine called her “princess mia”, one of the best compliments ever. awww. our doctor said she’ll be transfered from the incubator to a bassinet when she reaches 3.7lbs. that means she’ll by placed by the window already! and you all can see her up close soon.
Me and Mia were just the recipients of unconditional giving and such unselfishness. I have skipped over the concept of surrogate “milk mothers†while researching for my newfound profession as a mom until now that I actually had a need for it. as much as I wanted to nurse my baby, my physiology won over my will to lactate and is gradually diminishing my supply. Well, I thought, that will be only for now since our doctor said Mia will be ready to breast feed again by tomorrow or Friday, and babies are said to be the best stimulators for breast milk.
Unbeknownst to my panicking self, God has already provided someone to answer my prayers, and so many others like myself as well. I decided to go immediately to the address given to me and met my prayer’s answer, who told me how it all began. Her name is Rosanna Angeles, a mother of two whose mission is to help mothers in need. It started when she herself was problematic over the feeding of her baby boy who couldn’t breast feed because he was too small (a preemie much like my Mia). Friends and family (who had also given birth) had willingly given their share so that the little boy could be nourished. Her milk supply, so to speak, became more than enough for her own baby, that when a preterm baby needed exactly what she had, she gave it away. Then an unexpected media publicity via a good friend even brought her more milk, as well as the attention of those needing it.
Ms Angeles’ baby boy is 5 years old now, and a cute and healthy one at that (yes I got to meet the little guy; his mom was very proud of her miracle). And until now, people from all over would still bring her breast milk to be given to those in need of it. This was all free of charge, no ties attached, unpaid for service. Some people would give donations for her other charitable activity, a leukemia foundation for kids, out of the bottom of their hearts. And of course, she also ensures the health safety of all their donations by making sure that the mothers donating are completely healthy.
Some weeks ago a mother who thought she had more than enough for her own decided to share her blessings. Some weeks later a baby needed to feed. Being caught in the middle of it is certainly a good ministry to have, and that surely revolutionizes the definition of giving.
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My dad and I had a weirdly funny conversation in the car today:
Dad: Ano ba nickname niya? (referring to Mia)
Me: Mia po.
Dad: Dapat iba nalang. Alam ko na… Iska.
Me: Ha??
Dad: Diba Miska Andrea and pangalan niya? Iska. Miska.
Me: What?? (Siryoso ba to?)
Dad: Eh Mia malayo yun. Iska, ayos yun! Uso nga yon ngayon, yung mga lumang pangalan. Mga pangalan ng mga anak ng artista ganun ang pangalan. Iska. (quite pleased with himself)
Me: Ha?? (seriously doubting the wisdom of my dad)
Dad: Tama, Iska. Yun ang itatawag ko sa kanya.
Me: (Oh no…)
a sleepless week, a couple grand (sniff), and an additional 1.28lbs later, i am resting a little easier. the nasty eyebags are less threatening now, thank goodness. God has answered our prayers and mia weighs heavier and seems to like gaining weight since the 3-day no-milk diet her doctor imposed on her.
i was also surprised to see her today because her features have changed a lot. hard to imagine one can produce such a beautiful baby but then it’s also hard to imagine that one can be acquainted with such medical words as metabolic apnea, gastrointestinal reflux, continuous positive airway pressure, and bradycardia that just, in truth, scared the living daylights out of me. still He is gracious; mia handled that temporary snag strongly and is making good recovery so far.
mia weighed 3lbs yesterday and added .4lbs more today. she needs .6lbs more to make the prerequisite weight for making it out of the hospital, a disease-free chart, and her doctor’s clearance so she can come home with me. hay. please help me pray that i get my christmas present home even earlier. nothing else will make me happier.
sleep is a luxury for me now. i haven’t had a restful night since last weekend because of mia. she has had her 2nd episode of apnea and erratic heartrate since my last entry. they almost had to transfer her to philippine heart center because the doctors just couldn’t figure out what was causing the apnea and arrhythmia. since the cardiologist who checked on her yesterday ruled out the possibility of a structural heart problem, maybe i can rest a little. it still doesn’t rule out the infections though.
this morning her pedia did a lumbar tap (spinal tap) on her. finding out that your child had to be probed and tested on is the most horrible feeling in the world. if only i could do it for her. i just console myself that this is for her own good. at least after the doctor rules out any infections i can breathe a little more.
when i came to visit her in the nursery this morning, i couldn’t help but cry. i wouldn’t have normally done that, considering that i was also talking to her pedia at the same time, but i just didn’t care anymore. i was going crazy blaming myself for everything that happened to mia. and there was nothing else i could do but pray to Him.
one thing i discovered, forgiveness is a wonderful thing. no matter how horrible a person can be, that slate can be wiped clean. yes, even the filthiest, defiled and mangled thing can be restored anew. if only it is offered to God wholly. maybe i haven’t given entirely, maybe i still withhold many for myself, hence the consequences. still God is gracious, He always fulfills His end of the deal. and why wouldn’t i trade all of this for that luxury? a good night’s sleep, is priceless.
last saturday afternoon mia was discovered to have an infection and suffered from apnea. when the doctor called me that night i was coming back to see her, i didn’t know what to do. paranoia got the best of me and i just cried in front of the nursery when i saw all the tubes coming out of her (they had to put her on oxygen). i just had to blame myself for what happened and i guess being a mom kind of merits that much blame.
but anyway she’s doing better this morning. they’ve removed her oxygen and after 2 sleepless nights i can actually rest. i’m also thankful that her eyes are uncovered already, since she doesn’t need phototherapy anymore. her doctor also said she’ll be back to her normal milk consumption in about 2 days. when this baby comes out, there’ll be no diet until she’s old enough to process the weighing scale and its implications. hehe.
