Nap Time Rocks!

holding the world in your hands

yesterday my doctor allowed me to hold mia. not just through the incubator, but actually carry her in my arms, or rather my hands. she was bundled up and looked so small that she could fit in my two hands. right before the nurse handed my my baby i was allowed to feel a split second of fear and hesitation because i didn’t know how to hold a baby, let alone this one who looked so frail that i might break her, and i didn’t know what to say to her.

mercifully her eyes were covered so that she couldn’t judge my inexperience; but she seemed to feel my nervousness when she let out a small whimper. i could only stare at her and be awed at the fact that i am actually holding my baby. i really did think for a second that she didn’t want to be held because she kept squirming in my hands. when she started to breastfeed though, it felt as if everything else was ok. her doctor and nurses were actually surprised that she could suck well, for a preemie.

anyway my routine has changed again, since i will be visiting her twice a day now to breastfeed. i’m really hoping that the change will also mean that she gains weight faster now. thanks for all the prayers!