Nap Time Rocks!

#074

Sorrow is better than laughter,
because a sad face is good for the heart.
Ecclesiastes 7:3 NIV

how exactly does sadness contribute to my well being?? i’ve been complaining all day about the current status of my (hormonal) self, never bothering to look at the bright side, and have a perpetual rain cloud over my head.

bah humbug.

coming home early from work, i hear this pastor on the radio; my mom has just tuned in to DZAS. i think he was talking to me when he said, “kung malungkot ka, eh di malungkot ka! matatapos din yang kalungkutan mo. magsasawa din yan sayo. sa bawat segundo na ginagawa mong takpan ng kaligayahan ng mundo ang kalungkutan mo, maraming oras, araw at taon ang ipangbabayad mo diyan.” that was straightforward. i started to protest quietly that i wasn’t going to, but i remembered many a time that i’ve tried to drown my sadness by going out, laughing out loud at my friends’ jokes, or even dancing the night away. in fact, i was planning to go out tonight to that johnny walker party in manila because i was bored.

truth is, i feel so empty inside. and my solution to my problem is to go out and try to forget about it; let the loud bass replace the beating of my heart, the drunken people sway me to another time and place, and everything else make me less human so i won’t feel hollow. but im home. safe and sound in my bedroom, where the only beating sound is the rain on the rooftop. surprisingly, i feel half full now. i’ve dissected my problem in my mind, and i’ve translated some of it in words.

more than anything, i let myself to just be sad. i am sad, i am lonely. i feel like crying until my tear glands dry up. i pour my heart out to Him. for the complex feelings that are making a carnage out of my being, i let God handle that. He knows.

so how has sadness helped me? it has made me familiar with The Solution to all problems that i haven’t been aware of for a long time until now.