Nap Time Rocks!

#073

in other news,

i am bored with my work. i have now reached the point where i deliberately wake up late in the morning and take my time before leaving for the office, i go through the motions of my job, and i find no meaning whatsoever to what im doing. i am now convinced that this is not just a phase, and it’s about time i move on from this crystal shop.

though i think paulo coelho is mostly all figurative and is not the “what you see is what you get” type and im not a big fan, i would agree with him this time that we are all destined for something great. but getting from point A to point B isn’t always a straight line. there are crystal shops, meadows to be comfortable in, and market places to be busy in — not necessarily your destiny.

something in today’s sermon challenged the bored me. there’s something great out there for me, i know it. i’m assured of it. no less than the Creator of the universe guarrantees me of my destiny. but—

yes, there’s a but. there’s always a but. and it’s up to me to follow those conditions. question is, am i ready? do i still think im unworthy of anything great? am i letting fears and selfishness hold me down? do i still have doubts that it will all be worth it?

—

as for my previous post about the friend, we’ve seen each other since that depressed entry. i had the heart to forgive him after all.

#072

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

#069

im no webgame junkie, but i just got bitten by a vampire

#068 to you my friend

have you ever had a friend who you’ve always thought would be there for you always? that no matter what, he will never forget, never turn his back, never deny you friendship?

have you ever had a friend who just did the complete opposite of all that?

nothing can describe how i feel about you now; you left me hanging. i just launched into a very difficult time in my life, one that i never thought i would experience when we were kids, playing with matchbox cars in dirty clothes and snot in our noses. you just asked me what happened, and that was it. how could you have so much coldness for me, that you never even bothered to check back?

it was enough for us that we only get to talk once in a while. but there are friendships, like those common forwarded text messages would say, that are content to be ‘invisible’. we’re both busy, you have a lovelife to sustain, i have my own problems to deal with. but that was not a hindrance to our familiarity with each other. but right that moment, that i was practically screaming (well virtually anyway) for help, i never found it.

i dont want to hate you for not being there for me. you have a life of your own, probably even more important than mine. i just hope that when the day comes that we see each other again, i will have enough courage to tell you how you made me feel today and that im ready to forgive you still.