if I had a choice to do my life all over again, I’d go back to that afternoon when I sat at a jeepney stop watching the pedestrians and traffic pass by. You see, I wasn’t alone then.
you asked me if I wanted dirty ice cream, but I said no thanks. I had too much calories in me and i’d do better without one hundred and fifty more. You shrugged and still bought one, telling the sorbetero if he could add just one more scoop of chocolate. I marveled at how much room you still had for dessert, after eating at our favorite carinderia.
you sat beside me at the stone bench and for a few minutes we took our time to scan the bulletin board for new announcements like, “wanted: lady bed spacers” or “lose/gain weight call” or “up to 70% off on all items” maybe realizing there was none worth scrutinizing, you turned to me and asked where I was going later that night. I told you I had nowhere to go; I was still grounded for coming home late the other night.
Ayan kasi, dapat nagpaalam ka maaga pa lang.
It wasn’t my fault, I wanted to tell you. nobody had told me you were coming. I thought you still had a basketball game with the boys. But never mind, we still had a great time, didn’t we? i asked if you were going somewhere yourself.
Ewan ko. Ikaw, gusto mo gumimik? Ay, oo nga pala hindi ka pwede. Hehe. Ikaw kasi eh.
yep, that did it. I began to tell you about how we ended up being friends. I recounted how we first met, what was the first thing you told me, and even what you wore. I said you were too mayabang and figured you couldn’t be as nice as they say. You laughed at me and said you were probably the nicest person on earth even if it turned over.
I wanted to say yes, that’s possibly true. That’s probably why I began to like you minus the first impressions. And you were also sweet and fun to be with and smart and such a gentleman and so much more! But I kept that to myself and just smiled. Yeah, you’re sooo humble too. You seemed to have found that amusing and playfully punched me in the arm.
It’s been three years since we met, I told you. remember that time when I got stranded in school because of the rain (and you kept pestering me to bring an umbrella but I didn’t want to) and you still went back for me anyway even if you lived in the south and I was in qc? The flooding was really bad and you just had your car washed. i was so grateful to you then. I still am.
It’s funny how I really never got to thank you for all those times you were my hero. I guess I’ve always felt you were going to be there for me constantly. You interrupted my reverie and said I was getting way too sentimental. Yeah, you were never the schmaltzy, gushy type.
But I wanted to tell you anyway.
My point is, my dear friend, hindi ka ba naa-amaze sa tagal na nating magkaibigan? Akalain mo yon, natiis kita? (haha) I’ve always hung out with you, na kahit may gustong manligaw sakin, hindi makalapit! Akala nga nung iba nating mga classmates boyfriend kita. Sabi ko nga ang swerte mo naman.
Haha, you know what I’ve always liked about you? you have such a great sense of humor! Pero alam mo, sa lahat ng friends kong babae, ikaw lang yung sobrang close sa akin. Ewan ko pero feeling ko you know me inside out, im not afraid to be myself. Eh bakit nga ba hanggang ngayon wala ka pa ring boyfriend?
Bakit ba? Wala eh, na-intimidate siguro sayo.
Nye, sakin pa? sira nalang ang hindi pa lumapit sayo, sa ganda mo na yan, matalino ka pa, sobrang bait pa. what more can they ask for?
Hmm. You think? It didn’t seem to apply to you.
Come on, you’re my bestfriend! Your prince just seems to be a little lost. You know what I love about sitting in this waiting shed with you? you always come up with crazy ideas. what’s all this over-sentimental session about anyway?
Wala lang. don’t you ever think..?
What?
Wala. Never mind.
Ano nga?
Wala nga, ok? Drop it.
A bunch of students stood near us and tried to flag down a jeepney. It just sped by. like that moment, when I could have told you. it went past us and it is never going to do a u-turn.
I’m sitting on the same stone bench at the same jeepney stop where we had that conversation. i held the thank you card in one hand and gripped the edge of my seat with the other. as if life couldn’t be more unkind; I realize i should’ve taken your offer for that one ice cream cone. I should’ve said this or done that. But it’s too late for that now.
I picked up a box full of your and my stuff, each of them with stories to tell about us. your mom told me how you’d love for me to have them. i loaded the box inside the trunk and went on my way to the church where they’re keeping you for a while. i know it’s no jeepney stop, but I’m still going to wait with you there till you board your ride home.
