waiting for the bus
lily found it quite comical to be sitting at a bus stop in a place she has yet to get acquainted with, adjusting the belt strap of her semi-heavy duffel bag. she didn’t mind being alone, waiting patiently for a bus (oh gosh please, let any bus arrive) to come pick her up so she can come home to a more familiar place. she’s been waiting for an hour, scanning the creeping gray clouds overhead.
an hour, for crying out loud. but lily knew she had to wait, patiently, or the bus won’t come. they’re like hounds that smell impatience in frazzled commuters, and the longer they will take to arrive.
while looking at her feet and in between glancing down the empty highway (save for a few cars with trailers behind them), she notices a cheery middle-aged woman pick her undone nails beside her. maybe she’s been waiting for the darn bus too. lily thought, half minding her. at least there’s someone for company.
“where are you headed, miss?” the woman had turned to look back at her, maybe noticing that she stared a little bit.
“uh, home i guess.” lily hesitated. a conversation with a complete stranger was not on her list of things to do right now. but what the heck, she has not had a single human interaction since having a big row with paul and a light talk would do a lot unwinding her nerves.
“not so sure where to go? i notice you’ve done some crying.” she does a circular motion around her right eye, taking note of evidence that she had, in fact, cried her eyes out.
lily was caught quite off-guard by this woman’s bluntness in refering to her love life — well, now non-existent love life. “oh. well.. i have, actually. sometimes the world just sucks, and it’s a shame to be in it.” lily was surprised at how easy it was to just let all the steam off.
the woman manages a toothy grin. “uh-huh, love can be such a nuisance, can’t it? better left alone, that’s what it needs. oh yes, just leave it as is. do you need a tissue dear?”
lily nods and sniffs; she noticed tears spewing forth before she could even pull out a hankie from her stuffed bag. she slowly took a tissue paper from the woman’s rather unkempt hands. she looks like she needs a bath, but she has tissue. oh gosh, just stop it lily.
“the thing is, ma’am, i’ve never done anything like this before. you know, did a lot of sacrifice and all. i even went and transfered jobs just to be nearer.” lily now could not find enough strength to even stand so she slumps down the stone bench. the woman also sits down beside her. “and i so hate this place! it’s got no malls, barely enough transportation to get you anywhere, and so quiet! i couldn’t live here by myself.
“but paul made me. i mean, he meant a lot to me and i wanted to be with him so i considered living here. but now… now, i just don’t know,” lily sobs anew. “i’ve given up parts of myself that i may never get back. now that i realize we’re not meant for each other, i retreated and saw this huge hole in myself. do you think it’s possible to give away too much?”
“quite possibly, yes, dear. we all make mistakes,” the woman said sympathetically. “ever seen a waterfall?”
“sorry? a waterfall? yes, once while i was on a hiking trip. what’s that got to do with me?”
“ever notice that the pool where all the water drops never turn up empty? well, all that water may eventually flow down another stream or river but there’s just enough to still fill it up.
“now i may never know where all that water may come from — maybe from the mountains or deep under the ground — but i sure know that it will never run out.”
“is this some kind of figurative speech or something, because i’m not following it.”
“well, my dear, if you believe that there’s someone up there in charge of all the waters in this world that He will never let the waterfall pools dry up, then you can understand how all that relates to you.”
lily sits quietly for a moment and thinks about what the woman said. suddenly the sky wasn’t so gloomy anymore. she had faith. she need only find it again and believe that the water will not run out. her pool is not empty after all.
“thank you –” lily turned to her side but the woman wasn’t there anymore. “– for that.” she just said to no one in particular. lily looked up to the sky and smiled. she picked up her duffel bag, dusted it off, and continued what she was doing more than an hour ago.
she waited for her bus.
